Married but Miserable

Friends and family keep asking me when I am going to settle down and get married.  Here is another reason that I have been avoiding married but miserable. 

For the last month or so, I have been chatting with this girl online.  Super hot, 27 years old, runs her own clothing boutique… I guess what many guys would be looking for in a potential girl friend.  Last night we decide to meet for the first time.  I chose to go to a local restaurant.  I love this place because everyone makes you feel at home, and that you are part of the family.  I arrived ten minutes early and sat at the bar.  Being a raging alcoholic I sucked down a greygoose martini.  After sitting at the bar for a half an hour I sucked down a second.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am anal about being on time.  I was pissed that she was late and had not called, So I decided to leave.  As I was paying for my two drinks my phone rang.  Her excuse was that she was in traffic, and would be there in five minutes.  I gave her strike one and decided to wait, so I ordered another drink.  Here came strike two.  As she pulled up to the restaurant my phone rang again, and she asked me to come outside to meet her.  I was already pissed that I was sitting around for the last half hour waiting, and I had a buzz going. 

Being the gentleman that I try to be, I went out side to meet her.  She pulled up in a convertible Bentley.  Real nice car.  She looked even hotter than the pictures she had sent me.  I walked around to the drivers side to open the door for her.  The first thing that I noticed was a set of crutches in the back seat.  These were not the type of crutches that you get after spraining your ankle.  These were those special ones.  You know, the ones that get locked around your elbow.  I was confused. I think that I was even in denial.  I didn’t know what to say.  I didn’t know if I should run.  There was so much going through my head in that split second, that the first thing that I could get out of my mouth was.  “Who’s are those!?”  After I said this I felt like such a dick, but I had to know.  There was still this ounce of hope that they were her mothers, and she simply forgot to take them out of the car when she was dropped off???  She looked at me with disgust, and said “It’s a long story, would you give me a hand getting out of the car?”  Just in case you couldn’t tell that was strike three.  Not because she needed crutches, but after speaking to someone for a month you would think that it would come up.

After sitting down and ordering some food and a bottle of wine,  I slowly forgot about the crutches.  We spoke about a lot of things and it turns out that she has multiple sclerosis.  The dinner and the conversation went well.  Better than most first dates. 

After dinner we had another bottle of wine, and ended up back at my place.  The one thing that surprised me is that she has problems walking, but she fucks like an animal.  She fucked me as if M.S. was not in her vocabulary.  We fucked all night.  Usually after the festivities come to an end, there is some awkwardness.  You know the awkwardness that I am talking about.  Not sure how long you need to hang around before leaving, or how long to wait before telling them to leave, or even coming up with an excuse for them to leave.  No, not this gem.  She beat me to the punch.  She got up, and said she had a busy day at work tomorrow.  That’s usually my line, and I never have a busy day at work.  Actually now that I think about it I feel like I was used.

A lesson was learned today my friends.  Normally after a third strike, the date/relationship is over.  This time my conscience would not let me leave this crippled chick on the side of the road wondering how I disappeared so quick.  The guilt allowed me to be a good person for once, and look I ended up having handicap sex.  It was a first for me, and something I will have to try again. 

Your friend,

Troy Mouni